7 months

Dear Michael,

How has it been 7 months? I long to hold you again. I feel like so many people do not understand. Including Daddy sometimes. I do not even understand sometimes. How is it possible to feel this pain so deeply? For the tears to come so often and so quickly? I am just so tired. The evenings are filled with dread. Once your brothers are in bed and the house is quiet I feel so empty and alone.  We are having another boy in January and I feel so blessed. But along with this pregnancy comes an emotional strain I never imagined. The lines are so blurry between your pregnancy and this one. I have been pregnant for 9 out of the last 11 months. I am 21 weeks now with your brother and last night we were talking about names for him. It just made me so sad. I remember talking about names for you. I am going to try to get some sleep. I am holding your bear like I do every night. Good night sweet boy.

Love,

Mommy